Wednesday, February 15, 2017

What is Pride?

So, here's something new:

What if pride and humility aren't emotional, but rather patterns of thought. Processes. Things that I think habitually.

Some of you are probably thinking "duh," but this is a new concept for me. I came to the realisation tonight that I have no trouble admitting that my emotions are broken, but I can't admit that my thoughts are broken. There's something wrong with me emotionally, but not logically. I am knowledgeable and intelligent and wise... and then there's my pride. And I would dance around this idea of pride being a problem that I couldn't quite identify closely enough to begin working on. Well, now I can see that it's because the problem 
I've been trying to think through is a problem with my thinking. That's like trying to see the glasses you need to see with.

No resolution, yet, but the knowledge of what pride is.... That's valuable. That gives me a place to start. You see, thoughts are the behaviours of the mind, and as such can be trained.

Now I just need to know how.


Soapbox

30 Day Writing Challenge
Day 10: Write about something for which you feel strongly

That's a tough one for two reasons: I either let things slide, or get far too passionate in the moment. One day I'll be up in arms over something and the next I won't care a hoot, so choosing something I feel strongly about is tough.

I could talk about ignorance and the arrogance that so often accompanies it. Our (especially in a local sense) society seems rife with this type of ignorance. People who have an opinion just because they heard someone's third-hand story. Because they want to feel like their voice matters. Because there is something in them that has cried out, for years, for attention. For affirmation. For recognition.

Ah. There it is. I knew if I started fishing around a bit among my pet peeves, a real passion would take the bait. My real passion is for broken people. For how they are treated. For the way in which they treat themselves. Especially for the way they treat themselves. You see, everyone's broken, but most people pretend they're okay just so they can move on. Is that even right? I'm not saying we should all walk the earth wearing a veil of tears mourning our losses and nursing our wounds. I'm saying we owe it to each other to be open, honest, frank. Allow others to see that we, too, are hurting. That way they can see - we can see - that we're not alone. Acceptance from someone who is also broken is powerful. It's more than just acceptance. It's love. It's healing.

If we are going to thrive as beings, as creatures, as beautiful spirits, then we need that healing to begin. We need to stop hiding our wounds and pretending we can walk on a broken ankle. We need to reach out.

The scary part is that when we start to reach out, there are those who are so afraid of their own pain and damaged from their own pasts that they will automatically lash out at any sign of vulnerability. But even so. If we aren't the ones to start this unifying necessity, who will? We can't all be islands forever. If we try, we will die.

So there. That's my soapbox. And in light of that, I urge each of you to begin reaching out in little ways to be more sincere, more honest, more open, and more vulnerable than those around you so that the healing of Grande Prairie can begin.

Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Pride Again

It says something that I already have a post entitled Pride, and here I am writing about it again. It says I'm not learning as quickly as I'd like.

Confession time, friends: I'm having a really difficult time not being really upset and deriding myself right now. You see, I let pride get the better of me tonight. I let a construct of who I was take centre stage, attempting to upstage God himself. And all in the name of ministry.

I don't want a false me to minister to others. I want to be useful. Pliable. Attuned to Holy Spirit.

God, forgive me!

Forgive me for putting on that authoritative hat, for assuming my job, and for taking the reins. Forgive me for praying what I thought needed to be prayed target than for waiting for your directions.
Thank you for working despite me! You are so great, so powerful. Truly you are Almighty God.

http://www.pastorpriji.com/