Relationshipping

Courtesy of bjmgz.org

Relationshipping is Hard

Why do relationships have to be so hard? Why does being in love with someone mean you have to work at it, too? I miss the days when loving was easy. I'm frustrated at myself for letting it drift, letting love coast along. Not putting in the time and effort before it was needed.

This is so true - this quotation. I had to learn that. Fortunately, I learned it from watching those around me. Couples who were walking through difficulty. Couples who had lost the spark, but were still committed. Couples who were no longer friends with each other, but refused to actually give up.

I admire those couples. If you're one of them, know that I want to be like you. Tenacious. Unyielding. Unwilling to quit.

But, I also want to have better than you have. I want this tough spot to give way to being in love again.

It's hard, as a Christian. Everyone affirms that love is hard, that you have to work at it. But there aren't actual resources. No strategies. No pointers. Not that I've seen, anyway. How does one go about cultivating a friendship that was tenuous to begin with? Especially now that we're such good roommates and partners.

Courtesy of Pinterest.com

And I need to remember this. This second quotation I found on Pinterest. I didn't choose my husband because he was attractive.

Although he is. ^_~

I chose him because we fit together spiritually. We were made of the same mettle, and I could tell. We matched. Maybe I need to refocus on that. Spiritual things matter so much more than we realise, they hold so much more weight. Who he is in the spiritual realm is exactly who I need. I can only pray that I am the same for him.

And yet.

And yet I find myself frustrated to tears, again, because we can't think of anything to do together of an evening. Both introverts, one of us has had an empty day and is craving some time together while the other one has been with people constantly and needs some personal space. We're not sychronised, and the grinding of those tiny gears against each other is painful. It wears at us, little by little each day. We're becoming misshapen. Ineffective. I long for the Master Clock Maker to step in and tune us again.

Maybe that's what I'm missing.

I need to be tuned to God, to the whispers of His Holy Spirit. If I am focused on being aligned with my Lord, and Pete is focused on being aligned with our Lord, then we will end up being in line with each other.

So, Father, I pray for diligence. That I would seek you, deliberately and passionately. In your Word, in prayer, in service, in the silence. I pray that you would help me to make you my priority.